SPun From Air and Sunlight
Surviving the ocean of grief
1. Immersion Go under. Don't fight it You can't win. Let it come Ripping up, Through stomach Heart and lungs. Let tears fall And racking sobs Convulse you. The pain you feel, That rips you into pieces That consumes you, That blots out air And speech and thought. Like a wave crashing, Tumbling you along Helpless. You have to feel it. Acknowledge it's there. Be brave. Don't fight it. Go under.
2. Survival Float Waves pass, Convulsions end, Head up, take a breath, Relax, Relax. Just for a moment. The next wave is coming To crash over you And spin you helpless Once more underwater. But now you know. You know it will pass You will breathe again. Wait for the pause, The brief moments Of calm and Clarity. Know they are coming, As surely as the next wave, As surely as the overwhelming, Awful Pain. Let it come again, Let it pour from you. The wave will pass, Head up, Take a breath.
3. Backstroke Act Do something, Anything. With feet and hands And head. Direction doesn’t matter. Occupy yourself. Kick, Reach, Kick, Reach. The waves will still come. Kick, Reach, Kick, Reach. You will tire. Will need survival float again. That doesn’t matter. Just act. Kick out of place, Your misery and pain. Carry them with you. Reach for anyone, anything, Anywhere. To fill time. Direction doesn’t matter. You can’t see where you’re going It doesn’t matter. Kick, Reach, Kick, Reach. Any thing, Any one, Any where. Act. Please.
4. Treading Water The storm is behind you, Still there on the horizon Waiting for a stray thought, A memory or passing comment, To whirl you back Into chaos and pain. But, For now, The sea is calmer, An ocean swell With highs and lows Holds you lightly. Hands and feet move gently Lifting your head up. You have time to look, Survey the scene, Identify the reefs and shoals, Where the waves break With renewed fury. Time to see the deeper waters, The gentle swells, To plot a route. To find a way forward. The storm will return, Take you back to the beginning But now you know, Now, you know. There is a way through.
5 Choices Losing them changes everything. You can rage against the loss, The ocean, The unbearable injustice Of a world without them, Cry in anguished denial And spiral Into the despair and darkness Of the deep. Or not. Everything is different. The world is not the same. So now, Take time. Take time to listen To the messages the universe Is sending. Look for the signs, The brighter stars, The gentle breeze, The warmer water Gently caressing your body. Find a new direction. One that feels right, Not comfortable, Or safe, But right. The world is different So find your new direction, And swim.